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E M F M Marriage Officiant


A Brief Worldview of Marriage 


Together we get to cultivate a purposeful ritual in the marriage or union ceremony, as a reflective practice on the love of those present and the values or spirituality that support love between people who are choosing a lifelong intimacy together.  My approach to officiating wedding ceremonies is to connect couples (or groupings) with a deeper conversation around their core values and how they want that reflected in their ceremony and vows.  Outside of the usual traditions, I enjoy providing a space to define what agreements in relationships might look like if we start from the truth of how people's hearts and minds are actually feeling and thinking about the mainstream representations of marriage.   We get to conversationally throw out the book and start from scratch, being descriptive of what is being chosen...

"I don't believe in marriage. I think at worst it's a hostile political act, a way for small-minded men to keep women in the house and out of the way, wrapped up in the guise of tradition and conservative religious nonsense. At best, it's a happy delusion - these two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they're about to make each other. But, but, when two people know that, and they decide with eyes wide open to face each other and get married anyway, then I don't think it's conservative or delusional. I think it's radical and courageous and very romantic." - From the film Frida, the Frida Kahlo Story

The thing I really love about this quote from the film Frida (the Frida Kahlo Story) is that it paints a picture of the ways that we can accidentally fall into love and fall into ways of being in relationship that are destructive, and we can also get into it with powerful intention around how difficult any relationship is.  This gives us a way to be truly authentic in what we are getting into and maybe even taking the word "marriage" out of the equation, allowing ourselves the space to redefine what connection really means, and to get specific about what our vows really mean.

Speaking on Spiritual Traditions


EMFM provides Mindfulness and Compassion based officiating of marriage and commitment ceremonies.  As a spiritual being, I am most comfortable speaking around the concepts of love within the Buddhist and Christian teachings in a very modern way.  Even in this context, as a Clinical Social Worker and Mindful Self-Compassion Teacher, my own meaning in relationships and ways of speaking about loving and resilient relationships are informed by research based approaches, such as Positive Psychology (cultivating happiness) and the neuroscience of the Buddhist Psychology (the reality of suffering and meeting that with compassion).  In any talks on relationships, I most often speak about our relationship to the natural fear that shows up in connection or disconnection and that  Love and Kindness (Metta in the Pali language) are the antidotes to fear.


I most often give a talk about a great set of teachings around the Brahmaviharas (Best Home/Heavenly Abodes), which are Generosity, Loving-Kindness, Compassion, Sympatheic Joy and Peaceful Balance, as well as corresponding ritual repetitions of phrases that can join your whole wedding party...and they feel good.  This is mostly adapted as a secular spirituality that does not feel religious, but focused on the values outlined in the practices.  This can also be adapted within the teachings of love from the Christian tradition in I Corinthians 13.


  • Non-Refundable Reservation: $350

  • Couple's Values Interview/Consultation: $150

  • Due on Day of Ceremony: $350

  • Travel/Lodging Expenses if applicable

Things to Consider & Recommendations for Your Ceremony

  • Consider getting your money's worth from your officiant, so a 25-45 minute talk is plenty!

  • Will you want your vows and ceremony (including the officiant) amplified so everyone can hear what's happening?

  • Consider people important to you who might not be a part of your procession, and if there might be creative ways to include them in poetry or passage readings that are important to you, music sharing, well-wishes.

  • Sometimes it can be powerful to have some drink/toasts at the end of the ceremony before the reception actually happens, in order to keep some of the awe in those moments.

Ceremony Process & Elements to Consider

  • Processional (with Music)

  • Welcome

  • Opening Meditation (Prayer, Mantra, Reflection)

  • Joining & Support of Families (Rather than "giving away of the Bride", instead the ideas of "Who will Support This Couple?")

  • Officiant Talk on Love

  • (Poetry)

  • (Intention Setting Practice)

  • Exchange of Vows 

  • (Music)

  • Ring Exchange

  • (Loved Ones' Well-Wishes)

  • (Toast)

  • Loving-Kindness Meditation

  • Ending Processional

State of WashingtonMarriage License Requirements

For details on the process for your county in Washington:

  • The fee for a Washing State marriage license varies by county and is required at the time of application.

  • Minimum age to marry is (18).

  • Waiting Period: There’s a (3) waiting period.

  • License Validity Time: (60) Days.

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  • Blood Test: Not Required.

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  • Residency: Not Required.

  • Couples planning to getting married in the state of Washington must obtain a wedding license from any county seat (County Auditor’s) office in Washington State.  The legal marriage certificate, as well as a decorative marriage certificate will be mailed to the couple prior to the day of the wedding to be signed with the officiant of the wedding.

  • Marriage license fees varies by county. Also, the marriage certificate will be recorded in the county in which the license was applied for.

  • Witnesses: Witnesses are not necessary to apply for a license, but state law requires that at least two witnesses be present at the ceremony. Witnesses should be at least 12 years of age.

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